The Rethinking Trap

June 29, 2026
By: Dr. K. Danielle Penney, Clinical Psychologist

When was the last time you found yourself replaying a conversation over and over? Rethinking a mistake from years ago? Trying hard to get to the bottom of what went wrong, only to end up feeling worse?

That mental loop is called rumination — a form of repetitive negative thinking that can leave you stuck in your head, and stuck in the past.

Rumination is driven by the belief that if we think about something long enough, we’ll eventually feel certain or reassured. It’s the mind working overtime to make sense of something that thinking alone can’t solve.

What Is Rumination?

Rumination isn’t the same as healthy reflection. Reflection can help us understand a situation, initiate problem-solving, and move forward. Conversely, rumination is usually an attempt to reduce uncertainty or gain reassurance. It’s abstract, can be self-critical, and leaves us going in circles. Self-critical rumination often sounds like:

• Why does this always happen to me?
• What’s wrong with me?
• Why can’t I just get over this?

The trouble is that rumination can initially feel productive – it’s a sneaky behaviour that feels like you’re doing the work to understand a situation. In reality, you’re likely stuck in a mental loop that amplifies anxiety and lowers mood.

So Why Can It Feel Useful?

We’re wired to look for meaning when something hurts or is unresolved. When a problem is practical and present-focused, like a flat tire, analysis to find a solution makes sense. Emotional pain is different. It cannot always be resolved with thought alone.

Rumination can also help temporarily relieve the negative feelings some people have when faced with uncertainty. The belief is that if I think about a situation for long enough, I’ll finally understand. But the relief is temporary if it comes at all, because rumination tends to cause even more uncertainty, which then increases anxiety, and can lead to more rumination.

It can also be a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Staying in your head can feel safer than fully experiencing difficult emotions. However, just like ruminating to reduce uncertainty, ruminating to avoid feelings brings only temporary relief.

How to Disrupt Rumination

The goal is not to stop thinking about your life –  it’s to change your relationship to your thoughts.

1. Notice the pattern. Instead of trying to get to the bottom of a thought, pause and ask whether you are going in circles. Simply noticing “I’m ruminating right now” can create distance and interrupt the loop.
2. Break the loop. Once you’ve named it, remind yourself that ruminating cannot solve the past. Specifically ask yourself, “Is this a problem I can solve now?” If not, begin to shift your attention toward what you are feeling.
3. Check in with your emotions. Naming what you feel can shift you from analysis into processing. Validate your emotions, slow down, and notice what you feel in your body. Then, ask yourself what you need.
4. Ground in the here and now. Ask yourself, “What would help me right now more than ruminating?”
5. Take action. Intentionally switch to a meaningful activity. Engaging in meaningful activity, even when you don’t feel like it, can improve mood and reduce the desire to ruminate. Thoughts may still arise, but now you can tell yourself you’re choosing to let them go so you can get back to your activity.

Some ideas:

• Exercise
• Run an errand
• Do something nice for yourself or someone else
• Call or text a friend or family member
• Cook or bake something
• Tidy or organize
• Listen to music
• Engage in a hobby
• Engage in a focused activity (e.g., start the paperwork or book the appointment you’ve been putting off)
• Structured journaling for 10-15 minutes (describe the situation, what you feel, one takeaway, one next step)

Ultimately, rumination is a very human attempt to make sense of pain or negative experiences. It reflects an understandable attempt to gain clarity, control, or relief. But more thinking is not always the answer. Relief often begins not by solving a thought, but by choosing not to follow it.

references

Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on psychological science, 3(5), 400-424.

Stenzel, K. L., Keller, J., Kirchner, L., Rief, W., & Berg, M. (2025). Efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy in treating repetitive negative thinking, rumination, and worry–a transdiagnostic meta-analysis. Psychological medicine, 55, e31.

Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological bulletin, 134(2), 163.

Watkins, E. R., & Roberts, H. (2020). Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination. Behaviour research and therapy, 127, 103573.