March 16, 2026
By: Leanne D. Rondeau, M.A. M.Ed., Clinical Psychologist
When people begin to consult in psychotherapy it is not unusual that they are overwhelmed by the amount of their story that they want to transmit in such a short hour. Often, they have been suffering alone for a long time. I can sense their feelings of urgency and their need for support and feelings of relief. At times I imagine that it would be great if we could just download a file from their brains to mine: life experiences, losses, abuses, emotional reactions, relationships, disappointments, dreams, etc.. So much less effort. But when I imagine it that way it sounds pretty complicated as well. There’s more than one file so to speak, and often it seems that the relationships between these files might be more important than any content. Human beings are amazing and complex.
At other times people arrive with a clear sense that they need support in changing, understanding, or integrating something important but don’t have any clear idea what that is. They might feel exhausted but have no real idea why. Often they feel like they have simply hit a wall. “You, just ask me questions,” they might say.
Depending on a variety of factors and situations we all, most likely, can picture ourselves as being more like the first or the second example above: am I a busy thinker who is frantic, or do I have a tendency to just tune out? Am I more inside or more outside of my experiences? And does this depend upon the context I am in or who I am with?
Being able to be inside our experiences but also simultaneously take a distance from them is what is often referred to as “The Therapeutic Window” or “the sweet spot of neuroplasticity”. It is a place where we can talk about and explore what we have lived without our heart rate rising too much; a place where we feel safe; a place where we feel mild to moderate challenge. It is a place we feel like we can explore different options and be curious about ourselves and our history. It is all of these things, and it is where changes happen. It is where we are able to access our inner wisdom. Many people rate this as feeling like they are in a state of difficulty or challenge of 6 out of 10.
In this sense one of the most important tasks of consultation is to help people feel safe enough to gain this middle ground: move more to the inside or move more toward the periphery of their emotional and relational experiences depending upon their points of departure.
Cozolino, Louis. The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy. Healing the Social Brain. Third Edition. W.W. Norton & Company. New York, 2002
Gingras, Marc-Antoine; La Charité, Carl. L’autosupervision dialogique en intervention sociale. Intégration et création de savoirs en contexte de crise relationnelle. Presse de L’Université Laval, 2019.
