Breaking Free From Our “Eye Of The Storm”  

May 8th, 2025
By: Lindsey Moncarz, Psychotherapy Intern, OCCOQ

Life can feel overwhelming at times, with the world around us spinning in chaos. Our thoughts can become tangled, our emotions a whirlwind, and the pressures of daily life can seem unrelenting. It can feel as if we are trapped in our own “eye of the storm,” a place of isolation where everything feels harder to navigate, leaving us feeling disconnected and overwhelmed. One simple yet powerful way to break free is through practicing kindness.

Feeling Trapped in the Storm

When we become overly focused solely on our struggles, we can become emotionally and physically drained. The weight of stress can spark feelings of anxiety, fatigue, and physical discomfort like headaches, muscle tension, or digestive issues (Borsook et al, 2012; Wilpart et al, 2017). Furthermore, constant negative thinking can keep us locked, making it harder to think clearly or find creative solutions that draw on our inner strengths and available resources. This thought pattern can trigger our body’s natural stress response, which evolved to protect us from immediate danger. However, repeatedly activating this response can take a toll on both our mental and physical health, leaving us exhausted and trapped in a cycle of distress (Cacha et al, 2019). To cope, we may use maladaptive responses such as avoidance, compensatory behaviors to numb our emotions, or self-criticism. While these may provide temporary relief, they prevent us from addressing the root causes of our challenges and taking meaningful small steps forward. Acts of kindness, however, can help break that cycle (Peak & McGarty, 2025).

Finding Calm in the Storm

Shifting our focus from our own challenges to practicing kindness to others can be transformative, though it’s not always easy. It may feel counterintuitive at first, and many of us can struggle to take that first step when our world feels chaotic. However, kindness can improve our emotional and mental well-being (Hui, 2022). When we practice kindness, our brain releases oxytocin, the “feel-good hormone,” known to reduce stress, elevate our mood, and even strengthen our immune system, providing a natural boost when we need it most (Ibanez, Matallana, & Miller, 2023).

In addition, kindness allows us to step outside of our worries, creating emotional distance, offering a break, and giving us opportunities to gain greater clarity and creativity. Suddenly, the storm may not feel as consuming. We can approach our worries with a fresh perspective, equipped with renewed energy and a sense of calm (Brown, Hoye, & Nicholson, 2012). Additionally, continuous acts of kindness not only build stronger connections with others over time but also enhance our emotional strength and create a lasting sense of well-being. By redirecting our attention to others, we not only shift our mindset in the moment but also improve our mental and emotional health over the long term, enriching our lives and relationships (Peak & McGarty, 2025).

Simple and Meaningful Acts to Quiet the Storm

The beauty of kindness is that it doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag (Brown, Hoye, & Nicholson, 2012; Hui et al, 2020). There are countless ways to practice kindness:

• Send a “Thinking of You” Message
  Sending a message to check on a loved one can brighten their day, and yours, by showing you care about them. Sending a personalized meme can be a fun, lighthearted and quick way to connect.
• Offer a Compliment
  Sometimes, a kind word is all it takes. Compliment a colleague on their hard work or idea. Tell a friend how much they mean to you. Positive reinforcement uplifts others (and boosts your own mood).
• Gift a Small Plant or Flower
  A small plant or a bouquet of flowers can bring joy to someone’s day. They can be found in the grocery store, making it an easy and thoughtful gesture that brings nature and beauty into their space, serving as a lasting reminder.
• Pay for Someone Else
  Purchasing a coffee for the person behind you in line is a simple act that might turn someone’s day around and lift your own spirits.
• Volunteer Your Time
  Volunteering your time to connect with others and support your community can include activities at a local organization, food bank, or assisting a friend with a project, household chores, or moving. Stepping beyond your own concerns and contributing to something greater than yourself can feel fulfilling and purposeful.
• Make a Donation
  If you are in a place where you can, donate to a charity or cause that resonates with you. Donations don’t have to be monetary, they can be in the form of goods or services.

Key Points to Cultivate Calm

• Consider our time, energy, responsibilities, financial resources, and emotional state when offering acts of kindness to others. Recognizing our capacity to give, especially during challenging times, can ensure that our offered support remains sustainable.
• Tailoring our approach to the needs and preferences of the person we are helping can also increase the impact of our support.
• As well, be mindful of whether our kindness is driven by a desire to avoid our concerns rather than a genuine intention to support others. Tune into whether we are giving from a place of self-care rather than emotional avoidance. By staying mindful of our own well-being, we can offer kindness without overwhelming ourselves.

The Ripple Effect

Kindness isn’t just about the recipient. It creates a ripple effect that extends outward, inspiring others to spread kindness, and possibly offer support in return. Acts of kindness can strengthen relationships, nurturing a sense of community and belonging where we feel supported and valued (Brown, Hoye, & Nicholson, 2012; Peak & McGarty, 2025). By shifting our attention to others, we can also learn valuable perspectives, gain new insights, and find inspiration in their resilience and strength (Peak & McGarty, 2025).

The Power of Kindness

In the midst of life’s chaotic moments, when everything feels overwhelming and out of control, kindness can serve as a grounding force, the anchor to regain our balance. A brief shift in focus towards the well-being of others can lower our stress, boost our mood, provide fresh insights, and strengthen our connection with those around us. When caught in our “eye of the storm,” a simple act of kindness can be a breakthrough that clears the stormy clouds and gives us the clarity and strength to navigate life’s challenges with renewed energy.

references

Borsook, D., Maleki, N., Becerra, L., & McEwen, B. (2012). Understanding migraine through the lens of maladaptive stress responses: a model disease of allostatic load. Neuron, 73(2), 219–234.

Brown, K. M., Hoye, R., & Nicholson, M. (2012). Self-esteem, self-efficacy, and social connectedness as mediators of the relationship between volunteering and well-being. Journal of Social Service Research, 38(4), 468–483.

Cacha, L., & Poznanski, R. R., Latif, A.Z., & Ariff, T. M. (2019). Psychophysiology of chronic stress: An example of mind-body interaction. NeuroQuantology. 17. 53-63.

Hui B. P. H. (2022). Prosocial behavior and well-being: Shifting from the ‘chicken and egg’ to positive feedback loop. Current opinion in psychology, 44, 231–236.

Hui, B. P. H., Ng, J. C. K., Berzaghi, E., Cunningham-Amos, L. A., & Kogan, A. (2020). Rewards of kindness? A meta-analysis of the link between prosociality and well-being. Psychological Bulletin, 146(12), 1084–1116.

Ibanez, A., Matallana, D., & Miller, B. (2023). Can prosocial values improve brain health? Frontiers in Neurology, 14, 1202173.

Peak, R.M., & McGarty, C. (2024). HOPEFUL: Helping others promotes engagement and fulfillment. European Review of Social Psychology, 36(1), 71–114.

Wilpart, K., Törnblom, H., Svedlund, J., Tack, J. F., Simrén, M., & Van Oudenhove, L. (2017). Coping skills are associated with gastrointestinal symptom severity and somatization in patients with irritable bowel syndrome. Clinical gastroenterology and hepatology: The official clinical practice journal of the American Gastroenterological Association, 15(10), 1565–1571.e3.