I first learned about Shenpa in Pema Chödrön’s book “Getting unstuck”. It is a Tibetan word that refers to our tendency to get “hooked” by certain thoughts and emotions, and our immediate urge to react or “scratch the itch”. By giving in to this temptation, we teach ourselves that we absolutely must react to our Shenpa. Often, this leads to reacting with behaviours that are harmful in the long term. We also forego the opportunity to observe the Shenpa and experience our emotions. Refraining from biting the hook is an important part of meditation—it paves the way towards observing, understanding, and being in charge of our experiences and actions.
Read more about Shenpa: Shenpa and getting hooked
Getting Unstuck by Pema Chödrön (book)
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
It has been well documented in the literature that our parenting style/practices styles have an impact on our children, both on their development and their well-being (see Joseph & John, 2008, Bornstein & Bornstein 2014, and O’Connor & Scott, 2007).
Have you ever felt discouraged or ineffective (helpless and frustrated?!) when trying to communicate with your child (please tell me I’m not the only one who finds herself asking the same question repeatedly before getting a response from her child!). “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk” (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish) is a wonderful book to help parents learn the skills to communicate more effectively with their child(ren), or for anyone wanting to communicate more efficiently with any of the children in their lives. Written in a way that is down to earth (yes, they admit to making parenting mistakes; haven’t we all been there?) they provide practical and accessible strategies to help improve your communication with your precious little ones. Who doesn’t want a tool to help strengthen their relationship with their child? I highly recommend checking out this book, or even checking out one of the many workshops based on the principles outlined in the book. In fact, there are a few currently being held around the city of Montreal (see www.kiddoactive.com/workshop-for-parents.html OR www.federationcja.org/en/event/how-to0talk-so-kids-will-listen-15019/).